While this week had a few moments that made me want to pull my hair out (confused pt removes PICC line at 0630, check!), I also had a lot of deep heartfelt moments with patients.
For some reason, this was the week of the sad, down and out woman. I had a least three different patients this week who I had to motivate to carry onward. One (ICU transfer) I'm pretty sure is going to die soon, but I'm not gonna tell her that when she's already super anxious!
Anyway, the point of this is that this week has somewhat rejuvenated me. Caring is why I got into nursing in the first place. I didn't get into it for the paperwork, or the shitty doctors who don't want to be "bothered" at 0200. I went into it for the moments like these, where people need you. They just need some guidance, some self esteem, somebody to tell them that everything will be ok whether it's true or not. This is why I do what I do.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
"Annual" Review, Stage IV wound, and Programming
Well, today has been a long and interesting day for me. I received my "annual" review today (even though I have only been working for 6 months) and passed. Yay raise!
On a more disgusting/sad/interesting note, I had a patient last night with a stage IV pressure ulcer. As a nurse, I absolutely hate to see things like that because it means that the person with the wound has not been being care for properly, whether via ignorance or neglect. It had just be debrided two days previously. The day nurse told me in reports that there was "no visible drainage" on the dressing when she checked it "just before shift change". Ha! This nurse is notorious for being terrible, and for good reason. I went in to assess this patient around 2030 and the dressing was soaked. Not only was the dressing soaked, but the disposable pad underneath her bottom was soaked through as well. Clearly I had to do a dressing change. Essentially it was a very deep wound packed with lots and lots of moist gauze. I kept pulling and pulling and gauze just kept on coming out. The smell was horrific - worse than a carcass rotting in the hot summer sun. I can't even describe the smell. The aid and I just looked at each other and we each had to turn away a few times to catch a breath of fresh air.
Anyway, I finally get to the end of the gauze trail and what happens? A big old glob of purulent green drainage comes rapidly oozing out from lord knows where. I irrigated the wound about 3 times and the oozing would NOT stop! I ended up just repacking it and dressing it because who know when the ooze would end? I can't be irrigating wounds all night! I should also mention that this was wound week for me. Between the three nights I worked, I had about 5 dressing changes, which is unheard of for me. It also confirmed my ideas that I would possible like to be a WOCN. I love gory stuff, as awful as that sounds.
Anyway, switching gears now. My birthday was about two weeks ago and I received some money and gift cards. Normally I am the type of person to run out and either buy impulsively or buy something I've been dying to get but haven't wanted to spend my own money on. Recently though, I have been working in becoming more minimalistic and less consumeristic. I've been thinking long and hard about things before I buy them. I had a few things that I kind of wanted, but didn't want enough to actually spend money on. I also thought about putting the money towards my loans, but in the long run it wouldn't have made that much of a difference and I would have rather enjoyed the money as the gift that it was. I finally decided tonight to pursue something I've been toying with for a while - learning to program through Treehouse. I signed up for the two week free membership, so we'll see how it goes for a while. I have enough gift money right now for 2 months of membership. According to their "track" timeline, this means I could finish the track in 1 hour per day for two months.
I'm currently signed up for the Web Designer track, since it seems to be the "internet for dummies" type of course. You learn HTML, CSS, and I think maybe some other things. I'm pretty excited about getting into the nitty gritty of it all. The first video I watched, while very informative, was very slow and tailored towards what I imagine to be the elderly who have just booted up their computer and stumbled upon this website. Yes, I know what a dropdown menu is, and yes I know what ctrl+S and ctrl+R do. Ok, thanks. I get that you need to know your audience, and those are very useful pieces of information for people who need them, but as I said, I'm ready to jump right in headfirst! Maybe after I complete this I can even get some side work to pay off my loans. Who knows!? (I feel like that might be a long shot at this point though.) At any rate, I'm excited to be learning something new. I am still beyond in love with Duolingo and about halfway done with my Spanish tree (I can read "40% of articles!" according to them) so perhaps I will push on through French and German until the release of the Russian tree. I think that will be challenging but highly interesting.
Anyway, that is my life at the moment.
On a more disgusting/sad/interesting note, I had a patient last night with a stage IV pressure ulcer. As a nurse, I absolutely hate to see things like that because it means that the person with the wound has not been being care for properly, whether via ignorance or neglect. It had just be debrided two days previously. The day nurse told me in reports that there was "no visible drainage" on the dressing when she checked it "just before shift change". Ha! This nurse is notorious for being terrible, and for good reason. I went in to assess this patient around 2030 and the dressing was soaked. Not only was the dressing soaked, but the disposable pad underneath her bottom was soaked through as well. Clearly I had to do a dressing change. Essentially it was a very deep wound packed with lots and lots of moist gauze. I kept pulling and pulling and gauze just kept on coming out. The smell was horrific - worse than a carcass rotting in the hot summer sun. I can't even describe the smell. The aid and I just looked at each other and we each had to turn away a few times to catch a breath of fresh air.
Anyway, I finally get to the end of the gauze trail and what happens? A big old glob of purulent green drainage comes rapidly oozing out from lord knows where. I irrigated the wound about 3 times and the oozing would NOT stop! I ended up just repacking it and dressing it because who know when the ooze would end? I can't be irrigating wounds all night! I should also mention that this was wound week for me. Between the three nights I worked, I had about 5 dressing changes, which is unheard of for me. It also confirmed my ideas that I would possible like to be a WOCN. I love gory stuff, as awful as that sounds.
Anyway, switching gears now. My birthday was about two weeks ago and I received some money and gift cards. Normally I am the type of person to run out and either buy impulsively or buy something I've been dying to get but haven't wanted to spend my own money on. Recently though, I have been working in becoming more minimalistic and less consumeristic. I've been thinking long and hard about things before I buy them. I had a few things that I kind of wanted, but didn't want enough to actually spend money on. I also thought about putting the money towards my loans, but in the long run it wouldn't have made that much of a difference and I would have rather enjoyed the money as the gift that it was. I finally decided tonight to pursue something I've been toying with for a while - learning to program through Treehouse. I signed up for the two week free membership, so we'll see how it goes for a while. I have enough gift money right now for 2 months of membership. According to their "track" timeline, this means I could finish the track in 1 hour per day for two months.
I'm currently signed up for the Web Designer track, since it seems to be the "internet for dummies" type of course. You learn HTML, CSS, and I think maybe some other things. I'm pretty excited about getting into the nitty gritty of it all. The first video I watched, while very informative, was very slow and tailored towards what I imagine to be the elderly who have just booted up their computer and stumbled upon this website. Yes, I know what a dropdown menu is, and yes I know what ctrl+S and ctrl+R do. Ok, thanks. I get that you need to know your audience, and those are very useful pieces of information for people who need them, but as I said, I'm ready to jump right in headfirst! Maybe after I complete this I can even get some side work to pay off my loans. Who knows!? (I feel like that might be a long shot at this point though.) At any rate, I'm excited to be learning something new. I am still beyond in love with Duolingo and about halfway done with my Spanish tree (I can read "40% of articles!" according to them) so perhaps I will push on through French and German until the release of the Russian tree. I think that will be challenging but highly interesting.
Anyway, that is my life at the moment.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Long Week
Man, this has been one heck of a long week! It's primarily due to having a crappy schedule, but still. Sometimes you just want to curl up in bed and never leave. This week I worked Sunday, Tuesday (12-4 class), Wednesday 11-7, and Friday. I never really got a real break since my days off were spent sleeping. It was awful! I cannot wait for this week to be over. I also got floated Wednesday night to IMC (our ICU stepdown). I actually really liked it there. Everyone was super friendly and they gave me their easiest patients. However, that's partially because our institution says I don't have adequate training to care for their more intense patients, but that's fine with me. Bring on the "easy" ones! It was seriously just like my floor, but with 2 less patients. How does that make sense? I just feel like my floor is far more chaotic in general. We're constantly running around chasing bed alarms and dealing out pain meds like they're candy. On IMC, none of my patients had pain meds and I heard like 2 bed alarms go off the entire night.
I'm just sad because weeks like this past week really make me feel burnt out. It takes me some legitimate effort to remember how much I loved my role transition in school. I don't love what I currently do. It makes me depressed and makes me hate people. Well, people under 65. The non-elderly hospital patients are some of the worst people. They are just rude and whiny and have completely unrealistic expectations of what being in the hospital means. It's a hospital honey, not a Hilton. I'm not going to bring you your dilaudid the minute it's due every time - prn means as needed, not wake you up 4 times during the night because it is "due" even though you have no symptoms of pain that I can see. Ugh. This is mostly a rant about one patient I had who tried to give me his phone number. Gross and no thank you.
I'm just burnt out and tired of feeling like a legal drug dealer. I got into nursing because I cared and wanted to make a difference. I hope that my dream will linger on just a while longer so that someday I may find it again. At least I understand now how the jaded nurses I met in school came to be that way. Nursing is not all rainbows, sunshine, and saving lives. Most of the time it's paperwork, wiping asses, and pushing pain meds (hah! pun intended. :P). I just want to feel like I have some meaning in my life instead of just grinding out a week for a paycheck.
I'm just sad because weeks like this past week really make me feel burnt out. It takes me some legitimate effort to remember how much I loved my role transition in school. I don't love what I currently do. It makes me depressed and makes me hate people. Well, people under 65. The non-elderly hospital patients are some of the worst people. They are just rude and whiny and have completely unrealistic expectations of what being in the hospital means. It's a hospital honey, not a Hilton. I'm not going to bring you your dilaudid the minute it's due every time - prn means as needed, not wake you up 4 times during the night because it is "due" even though you have no symptoms of pain that I can see. Ugh. This is mostly a rant about one patient I had who tried to give me his phone number. Gross and no thank you.
I'm just burnt out and tired of feeling like a legal drug dealer. I got into nursing because I cared and wanted to make a difference. I hope that my dream will linger on just a while longer so that someday I may find it again. At least I understand now how the jaded nurses I met in school came to be that way. Nursing is not all rainbows, sunshine, and saving lives. Most of the time it's paperwork, wiping asses, and pushing pain meds (hah! pun intended. :P). I just want to feel like I have some meaning in my life instead of just grinding out a week for a paycheck.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Vacation - All I ever wanted!
The hubs and I just returned from a trip from Vegas last week with his siblings and some friends, and now we are already planning our next adventure! Vegas just didn't feel like a vacation to me, and both of us like to have something to look forward to, so here we are planning again! It's kind of exhausting figuring out where to go, what our budget is, what the timing will be, but in the end it will be so worth it. I told him that I wanted to do something at least 5+ days this time, since for the past year we have just been taking a ton of little "extended weekend" type trips. While fun, they are exhausting and don't allow you to fully experience a place. We actually talked about going back to DC because there was so much more that we wanted to do while there, but we were visiting friends and it was only a 3 day trip. I'll keep you posted on what we decide. Based on my initial research, it looks like a cruise may be the most bang for your buck. We'll see.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Back to school
Well, I am officially failing at my goal of posting once a week. That is ok though, as April has been a busy month for me! I was in Las Vegas this past weekend, and worked almost continuously up until then. It was a good time, but I'm glad to be home. I have so much stuff to catch up on around the house!!
Anyway, back to the title of this post. For a while now, I have been toying with the idea of going back to school to become a nurse practitioner. I have always been kind of a commitment-phobe when it comes to education - not from fear of failure, but from wanting to learn a little bit of everything! For example, even though I want to (possibly) become an NP, I also want to be an oncology nurse, a WOCC-RN, and a hospice nurse. I want to do everything! Part of the reason I went into nursing is so that I could have some variety in my career without requiring another degree.
I'm still uncertain as to whether or not I actually want to go back to school. It would mean more money sunk, and more opportunity costs in life. But, it may pay out long term with an increased salary. However, I think that I should certainly take some time to examine my options. Right now I'm just running headfirst towards school because I strongly dislike med surg.
I also met my friend's girlfriend while in Vegas. She, like me, had a degree and psychology but is currently in school for a master's in software engineering. I'm not sure how successful in that field I would be, but I think it is something work looking into. One of my favorite sites (Mr. Money Moustache) has an article about Treehouse - an online educational service where you can learn programming for as little as $25/month and be "job ready" in 6 months. I think I may pursue this avenue, as it is inexpensive and I enjoy learning regardless of the outcome. For example, I am currently using Duolingo to learn Spanish solely because I find it interesting and enjoy learning new things.
Anyway, that's that. The hubs and I are going out tomorrow night for fancy birthday dinner, since I have to work all weekend. It should be a good time. :)
Anyway, back to the title of this post. For a while now, I have been toying with the idea of going back to school to become a nurse practitioner. I have always been kind of a commitment-phobe when it comes to education - not from fear of failure, but from wanting to learn a little bit of everything! For example, even though I want to (possibly) become an NP, I also want to be an oncology nurse, a WOCC-RN, and a hospice nurse. I want to do everything! Part of the reason I went into nursing is so that I could have some variety in my career without requiring another degree.
I'm still uncertain as to whether or not I actually want to go back to school. It would mean more money sunk, and more opportunity costs in life. But, it may pay out long term with an increased salary. However, I think that I should certainly take some time to examine my options. Right now I'm just running headfirst towards school because I strongly dislike med surg.
I also met my friend's girlfriend while in Vegas. She, like me, had a degree and psychology but is currently in school for a master's in software engineering. I'm not sure how successful in that field I would be, but I think it is something work looking into. One of my favorite sites (Mr. Money Moustache) has an article about Treehouse - an online educational service where you can learn programming for as little as $25/month and be "job ready" in 6 months. I think I may pursue this avenue, as it is inexpensive and I enjoy learning regardless of the outcome. For example, I am currently using Duolingo to learn Spanish solely because I find it interesting and enjoy learning new things.
Anyway, that's that. The hubs and I are going out tomorrow night for fancy birthday dinner, since I have to work all weekend. It should be a good time. :)
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Life at the moment
Well, no nursing stories this week. Just regular life stuff. This week everyone I regularly talk to is out of the country so I'm all on my own. The hubs is in Canada for work, his sister (one of my bffs) is in Germany for work, and my parents are in the Dominican Republic on a well deserved vacation.
So, what have I been doing with all my free time you ask? Well, a whole lot of nothing. I should really clean the house, but that's the last thing I want to do (side note: on the radio today they said 93% of people would rather do anything besides clean their house. lol. I am the 93%!). I applied to some prn positions and got rejected from some already. The Children's hospital contacted me today saying they were interested, but didn't know how I would be able to attend the 2 week M-F 8a-4p orientation while working full time. I politely rejected them. Ain't nobody got time for that!
I also went and bought some new Danskos today since my others are too small. While I was at the mall I turned in my Mac empties and got two Back to Mac lipsticks in Shy Girl and New York Apple. Sooo pretty!
I don't know if it's just loneliness or what, but I'm quite mopey tonight. Just lots and lots of negative thoughts. At least I haven't been binge eating the ice cream in the freezer like I initially thought I would. I just have too much time alone with my thoughts. At least work will keep me occupied for the next two nights and then my hubby will be back.
So, what have I been doing with all my free time you ask? Well, a whole lot of nothing. I should really clean the house, but that's the last thing I want to do (side note: on the radio today they said 93% of people would rather do anything besides clean their house. lol. I am the 93%!). I applied to some prn positions and got rejected from some already. The Children's hospital contacted me today saying they were interested, but didn't know how I would be able to attend the 2 week M-F 8a-4p orientation while working full time. I politely rejected them. Ain't nobody got time for that!
I also went and bought some new Danskos today since my others are too small. While I was at the mall I turned in my Mac empties and got two Back to Mac lipsticks in Shy Girl and New York Apple. Sooo pretty!
I don't know if it's just loneliness or what, but I'm quite mopey tonight. Just lots and lots of negative thoughts. At least I haven't been binge eating the ice cream in the freezer like I initially thought I would. I just have too much time alone with my thoughts. At least work will keep me occupied for the next two nights and then my hubby will be back.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Be all that you can be
I read this article today. I know that we are well into the "new" year, but I still found it to be inspiring. I feel that we should all be working towards becoming the best person that we can be. I feel like overall I am in a very good place with my life right now. There are a few minor things that I would change, but overall I am happy. After reading that article, I decided to make a list of goals for the rest of the year. I don't feel like making them public at this time, but I think they were quite reasonable.
One of the keys to being successful with goal setting is to have measurable goals. One cannot simply say, "I want to read more." This was one of the goals I wanted to put on my list, but to make it measurable I instead put, "Read 15 books by 12/31/14". By making it measurable, I will know if I have reached my goal or not!
Another thing that I personally think helps with goal achievement is reasonable rewards. I know that intrinsic rewards are the best rewards, but sometimes it's nice to just treat yo'self to something you've earned.
Finally, the only way to actually achieve your goals is through internal motivation. You have to want it. No one else is going to make you lose 20 lbs or run a marathon. You have to do it for you!
I'm not really sure what the point of this post was supposed to be, but I was just feeling very motivated and inspired today and thought that I should share my inspiration with you.
One of the keys to being successful with goal setting is to have measurable goals. One cannot simply say, "I want to read more." This was one of the goals I wanted to put on my list, but to make it measurable I instead put, "Read 15 books by 12/31/14". By making it measurable, I will know if I have reached my goal or not!
Another thing that I personally think helps with goal achievement is reasonable rewards. I know that intrinsic rewards are the best rewards, but sometimes it's nice to just treat yo'self to something you've earned.
Finally, the only way to actually achieve your goals is through internal motivation. You have to want it. No one else is going to make you lose 20 lbs or run a marathon. You have to do it for you!
I'm not really sure what the point of this post was supposed to be, but I was just feeling very motivated and inspired today and thought that I should share my inspiration with you.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Code Brown
Ugghhh. Last night was so busy!! However, of course the poo hits the floor at around 5 when we're trying to wrap things up for the night.
First, I'm passing meds on one of my patients. As I'm leaving the room I hear from across the hall, "Help! Help!" Usually this is just a person who can't find their call light and needs something. So I pop my head in to see a man sitting on the bed. I quickly realize that this is the man that all the nurses have been talking about weekend as the meanest, surliest person in the world once he opens his mouth and says, "Get in here! I shit myself!"
Sigh.
I get in there and start to get him cleaned up when the aid comes in. Clearly, I pass this task off to her.
The morning progresses, and one of the nurses who is totally slammed asks me to give that same patient some zofran. I get into his room and he goes, "I need to shit again. Get me a potty chair!" Getting him a bedside commode at this time of morning would take about thirty minutes. I tell him this, and he proceeds to jump out of bed and start to walk to the toilet. However, the second his butt leaves the bed, stool starts dropping on the floor. He leaves a trail of c. diff all the way from the far side of the bed all the way to the toilet with me jumping behind him all the way preventing falls and ripped out IV lines. The room was covered in poo. Luckily we have amazing environmental services people who were there to clean it up within 5 minutes.
So glad that night is over.
First, I'm passing meds on one of my patients. As I'm leaving the room I hear from across the hall, "Help! Help!" Usually this is just a person who can't find their call light and needs something. So I pop my head in to see a man sitting on the bed. I quickly realize that this is the man that all the nurses have been talking about weekend as the meanest, surliest person in the world once he opens his mouth and says, "Get in here! I shit myself!"
Sigh.
I get in there and start to get him cleaned up when the aid comes in. Clearly, I pass this task off to her.
The morning progresses, and one of the nurses who is totally slammed asks me to give that same patient some zofran. I get into his room and he goes, "I need to shit again. Get me a potty chair!" Getting him a bedside commode at this time of morning would take about thirty minutes. I tell him this, and he proceeds to jump out of bed and start to walk to the toilet. However, the second his butt leaves the bed, stool starts dropping on the floor. He leaves a trail of c. diff all the way from the far side of the bed all the way to the toilet with me jumping behind him all the way preventing falls and ripped out IV lines. The room was covered in poo. Luckily we have amazing environmental services people who were there to clean it up within 5 minutes.
So glad that night is over.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Moments that make it all worthwhile
I just wanted to share a few moments from my shift last night that make me remember why I wanted to become a nurse in the first place. These are the moments that, even on the most terrible of nights, make everything worthwhile.
- My post-op patient who was in severe pain told me that I was an excellent nurse and and thanked me for being the first person who made her feel like she was actually cared about.
- My sweet little old lady who, when I answered her call light, said, "I just need a little TLC". I sat and her room, held her hand, and listened to stories about her life. This calmed her down and allowed her to get back to sleep.
I'm sure my words don't do these moments justice (especially since I just got home and my brain doesn't work anymore) but they were special moments nonetheless.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Float orientation
Friday night I oriented to two different units so that I would be allowed to float there in the future if needed. For some background, I work on a a busy med-surg telemetry unit. We get some pretty high acuity patients and usually have 5-6 (almost always 6) patients per nurse. The two units I oriented to were the med-surg ortho unit and our hospital's intermediate care (IMC) unit, which is where patients go if they are too sick for a normal med-surg floor, but not sick enough to go to ICU. The ortho unit was a complete joke for me. Apparently I'm not qualified to care for ortho patients (fine by me!) so they gave me their general med-surg patients. All of my patients were alert and oriented and able to get to the bathroom by themselves. Seriously? On my unit I'm lucky if ONE of my patients meets all of those criteria. It was such a joke. I don't know why they don't send those types of med-surg patients to our floor. . .I'm sure ortho is difficult and all, but spread the love with the walkie talkies! Having 2 total cares per night is just not my jam. It'd also be nice if the walkie talkies that ED sends us weren't all heroin addicts who require q2 dilaudid. Uggghhhhh.
Anyway, IMC wasn't terrible. It was actually quite similar to my unit, which is kind of scary to me. The worst part was following around a nurse who treated me like an incompetent student and wouldn't even let me do the most mundane things like boost a patient up in bed with the aid or take vital signs. I've been an independent nurse for a a few months now, and the patients she had weren't any sicker than patient's I've had so it was kind of insulting.
All in all, not a bad night. It certainly could've been worse.
Big 10 Tourney
Well, I had a fun weekend, surprisingly enough! I got called off on Saturday (woo!) so now I have 2 days off instead of one. The hubs and I had a relaxing evening in that may have entailed margaritas and movies. Then he said, "What if we went to the Big Ten tournament tomorrow?" I have no idea if he does this intentionally or not, but he asks things kind of rhetorically in an "eh, that'll never happen" tone of voice and then I respond and go, "yeah! let's do that!" It happened when we made our impromptu trip to the Final Four in Atlanta last year, and it happened Saturday night when we decided to make the 2 hr drive to Indy for one game this afternoon. My brother and the hub's sister met us there and it was nice to see them both as well.
I think that's about all that's been going on 'round these parts. I made my next 6 week schedule today and am going to try something new - no 3-in-a-rows. *gasp* I know, I always say I love my 3's, but lately kind of just want to die by the 3rd one. Therefore, I'm mixing it up a bit and doing 2's! I still have a bunch of 3's scheduled through mid-April, so I won't see how my new system works for another 2 months, but that's ok. Every day is one day closer to the end of my contract. :) I'm finally coming to terms with my job and not hating it, but I still hate the "trapped" feeling that the contract provides. Note to my future self: no contracts unless it is actually worth your while (re: hefty sign on bonus) and you aren't desperate for a job.
On the workout front, not much has happened since I've been working. I'm trying to figure out a way to workout on days when I work, but I just don't see how it's gonna happen. I don't want to wake up even earlier than I already do, and I don't want to work out immediately before going to bed. I think I'm just going to be SOL when it comes to that. I'm still shooting for three days this week though. Fingers crossed! Speaking of wanting to workout 5+ days a week. . .I want to do a half marathon eventually (ideally within the next year or two. Hubs said I could do the Disney one if I complete a different one before Disney) but I think it might be difficult to tailor the training schedules around my work schedules. I can't exactly go running at 2 am. . .We'll see what I get figured out. Right now I'll just be happy once I get to a 5k readiness level!!
I think that's about all that's been going on 'round these parts. I made my next 6 week schedule today and am going to try something new - no 3-in-a-rows. *gasp* I know, I always say I love my 3's, but lately kind of just want to die by the 3rd one. Therefore, I'm mixing it up a bit and doing 2's! I still have a bunch of 3's scheduled through mid-April, so I won't see how my new system works for another 2 months, but that's ok. Every day is one day closer to the end of my contract. :) I'm finally coming to terms with my job and not hating it, but I still hate the "trapped" feeling that the contract provides. Note to my future self: no contracts unless it is actually worth your while (re: hefty sign on bonus) and you aren't desperate for a job.
On the workout front, not much has happened since I've been working. I'm trying to figure out a way to workout on days when I work, but I just don't see how it's gonna happen. I don't want to wake up even earlier than I already do, and I don't want to work out immediately before going to bed. I think I'm just going to be SOL when it comes to that. I'm still shooting for three days this week though. Fingers crossed! Speaking of wanting to workout 5+ days a week. . .I want to do a half marathon eventually (ideally within the next year or two. Hubs said I could do the Disney one if I complete a different one before Disney) but I think it might be difficult to tailor the training schedules around my work schedules. I can't exactly go running at 2 am. . .We'll see what I get figured out. Right now I'll just be happy once I get to a 5k readiness level!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Combating Obesity
So, my little brother is a freak. He's about 6'2" and 170-190 lbs of muscle, depending on the season. Recently he has "gotten fat" and needs to "combat obesity" (his words). His version of fat is not being able to see a chiseled 6 pack, but instead a soft outline of abs. He absolutely baffles me, and sometimes I don't know if he's joking or if he has legitimate body image issues.
However, this post isn't meant to be about him. It's about me. Today I begin documenting my own combat against obesity. I have hit the gym twice this week (yay me!) and plan to go 2-3 days a week every week. Why not more, you ask? After 12 hour shifts, 2 hour round trip commutes, and "8" hours of sleep, I don't have much time in my work days. Plus, after wearing my pedometer to work for a few weeks, I found that I walk an average of 3 miles per shift. Whew! Too bad they don't give out 5k medals for nursing, eh? :P Either way, some nights I consider work a workout in and of itself. No need to double up and miss out on sleep when I'm already exhausted.
I also plan to *try* to improve my diet and not look at the scale. The diet issue is difficult for me since I work night shift. Luckily I don't fall into the trap of overeating, but I'm just too lazy to pack super healthy lunches and end up with processed food. I'm going to try to not look at the scale until a whole month has passed. That will put me at April 12th, which is right when we leave for Las Vegas. I'm hoping I can see some changes in my body by then. I don't expect much from the scale, especially since I plan to continue weight lifting, but my clothes should fit better. When I did Insanity before my wedding I actually gained 5 lbs, even though I lost quite a few inches. Numbers are just numbers and I think I'm past the point of letting them weigh on me too heavily (no pun intended).
Anyway, that is that. I'm working 6 of the next 7 days, so I won't be posting for a while. I will be back with fun times and stories next week though I'm sure!
However, this post isn't meant to be about him. It's about me. Today I begin documenting my own combat against obesity. I have hit the gym twice this week (yay me!) and plan to go 2-3 days a week every week. Why not more, you ask? After 12 hour shifts, 2 hour round trip commutes, and "8" hours of sleep, I don't have much time in my work days. Plus, after wearing my pedometer to work for a few weeks, I found that I walk an average of 3 miles per shift. Whew! Too bad they don't give out 5k medals for nursing, eh? :P Either way, some nights I consider work a workout in and of itself. No need to double up and miss out on sleep when I'm already exhausted.
I also plan to *try* to improve my diet and not look at the scale. The diet issue is difficult for me since I work night shift. Luckily I don't fall into the trap of overeating, but I'm just too lazy to pack super healthy lunches and end up with processed food. I'm going to try to not look at the scale until a whole month has passed. That will put me at April 12th, which is right when we leave for Las Vegas. I'm hoping I can see some changes in my body by then. I don't expect much from the scale, especially since I plan to continue weight lifting, but my clothes should fit better. When I did Insanity before my wedding I actually gained 5 lbs, even though I lost quite a few inches. Numbers are just numbers and I think I'm past the point of letting them weigh on me too heavily (no pun intended).
Anyway, that is that. I'm working 6 of the next 7 days, so I won't be posting for a while. I will be back with fun times and stories next week though I'm sure!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Revamping thought patterns
Dear readers, I know that you know nothing about me as of yet so here is one tidbit of information. I am a new grad, night shift nurse. I work at a hospital on a busy med-surg unit. I have been in my current position for about 3 months.
The orientation phase wasn't too bad at all; I came out feeling a bit hesitant, but mostly confident that I could do my job adequately. I wasn't expecting to be as excellent as a well-seasoned nurse, but I thought I could do a good job. As time went on I started feeling worse and worse not only physically (between night shift, lack of sleep, and germs everywhere my immune system was done for) but also emotionally. I was stressed beyond belief. I dreaded seeing my manager since she usually gave me constructive criticism (really, it was delivered professionally and as a "learning experience" but my mindset just couldn't handle it.) I also had serious trouble sleeping during the day - not due to light, sounds, or screwed up circadian rhythms, but due to my own anxieties. I would literally wake up hourly thinking about things I may have missed. Did I put all the orders in? Did that patient actually have crackles AND wheezes? What if I forgot to tell day shift about the medication in the Wall-a-roo?
This went on and on for 1-2 months of hell. Finally, I exploded. When I get stressed, I tend to take that stress out on my husband. We ended up having a big fight about something totally unrelated, but when we got to the bottom of it it was all related to my job stress. He had recently gone to a leadership training thing at his job and gave me some good advice about how to have a more positive mindset. I also talked with one of my coworkers recently about it and she had some good advice as well. Here's what I've been doing to try to be happier at work: (Btw, I HAVE to be happy at work. I have a 2 year contract that I don't want to pay 20k to get out of. 2 years of misery doesn't sound fun, so I may as well make the best of it!)
The orientation phase wasn't too bad at all; I came out feeling a bit hesitant, but mostly confident that I could do my job adequately. I wasn't expecting to be as excellent as a well-seasoned nurse, but I thought I could do a good job. As time went on I started feeling worse and worse not only physically (between night shift, lack of sleep, and germs everywhere my immune system was done for) but also emotionally. I was stressed beyond belief. I dreaded seeing my manager since she usually gave me constructive criticism (really, it was delivered professionally and as a "learning experience" but my mindset just couldn't handle it.) I also had serious trouble sleeping during the day - not due to light, sounds, or screwed up circadian rhythms, but due to my own anxieties. I would literally wake up hourly thinking about things I may have missed. Did I put all the orders in? Did that patient actually have crackles AND wheezes? What if I forgot to tell day shift about the medication in the Wall-a-roo?
This went on and on for 1-2 months of hell. Finally, I exploded. When I get stressed, I tend to take that stress out on my husband. We ended up having a big fight about something totally unrelated, but when we got to the bottom of it it was all related to my job stress. He had recently gone to a leadership training thing at his job and gave me some good advice about how to have a more positive mindset. I also talked with one of my coworkers recently about it and she had some good advice as well. Here's what I've been doing to try to be happier at work: (Btw, I HAVE to be happy at work. I have a 2 year contract that I don't want to pay 20k to get out of. 2 years of misery doesn't sound fun, so I may as well make the best of it!)
- Be grateful for what you have
- I see people at their worst. They are sick, miserable wretches. Sometimes dying, sometimes struggling with addiction, sometimes just holding onto life because they have nothing else. If nothing else I am thankful for my health. I am also thankful to have a job, even if it is not a "dream job." It pays the bills and allows me and the hubs to live quite comfortably.
- Hit the "reset" button
- I had a patient fall a few weeks ago. She was trying to climb out of bed all night and I should've seen it coming, but it still happened. Old me would've let this fall hang over my head for months. But that night I spoke with almost all of my coworkers, and even the best among them had had at least 1 fall on their records. They all still were working at our facility, so I didn't have to fear losing my job. Instead I just hit my mental reset button and told myself that I would be the best nurse that I could be that night. I try to mentally reset before every shift.
- Know that some things are out of your control
- You can't make that patient take hydralazine, even if their blood pressure is 210/120. All you can do is watch them and make sure they don't stroke out on you. And you absolutely can't strangle that 22 y.o. heroin addict who cleans out the pantry and fridge and is on his call light again every time you leave his room - which is at the end. of. the. hallway.
- Negativity gets you no where
- Going into a patient's room with a poor attitude isn't going to do good for anyone. It won't help the patient, and it won't help yourself. Plus, being positive is so much easier once you get the hang of it!
Anyway, that's the gist of it. Hopefully I can stay on this happy train for a while. Not sure how long that will last though. Starting Thursday I'm working 6 of the next 7 days. Ouch! Definitely going to try to get called off at least once. Wish me luck!
Restarting the blog
Well, this is now my third attempt at blogging, I believe. Time to hit the restart button on the blog. I think that in order to truly be happy with my blog I need to write things that are important to me and interest me instead of looking at blogging like some sort of potential money-maker. Yes, people do make money off of blogs, but they also put much more effort into their blogs than I plan to.
So from now on I will be writing about what I want to write about. Not potentially crowd pleasing posts. Nor will I even have a focus for my blog. It will just be a spilling of thoughts. (Maybe I'll rename my blog to that - it has a nice ring to it!)
So from now on I will be writing about what I want to write about. Not potentially crowd pleasing posts. Nor will I even have a focus for my blog. It will just be a spilling of thoughts. (Maybe I'll rename my blog to that - it has a nice ring to it!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)